Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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