I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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