Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
