yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
