i jhust puked up my retainher.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
BRING THE BAGELS
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
