I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That accounts for only three of the penises
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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