come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
