Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We're too hungover to prance.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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