I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
