That's intense
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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