Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
