Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
