Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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