Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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