I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
