Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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