with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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