After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
the raccoons are back...
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