Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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