Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
