i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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