no you cant smoke seaweed
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
two words...techno handjob
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
