He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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