There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
