At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We left the knife in your bed.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize