After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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