we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize