Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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