Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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