Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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