his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
