did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I have vodka in my lungs
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
