I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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