it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
