In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
