hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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