i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
