____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
