Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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