she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
