Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
