i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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