Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We talked him into tasing himself.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
wow bdsm is so cute
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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