Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
