guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
