Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize