Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
