so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
