He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize