I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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