hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
