She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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