at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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