I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So many bounce houses so little time
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
