She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
