We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
