well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize